Sunday, August 29, 2010

Baby Training Classes are Parent Training Classes

This weekend was packed with classes learning how to take care of a child and wifey when she is giving birth. I had SEVEN total hours of baby training classes over two days. My Saturday afternoon was filled with a FIVE HOUR "Birthing/Lamaze Class" and my Sunday was an "Infant CPR Class." Birthing Class was quite scary, watched an actual birth video (yikes!) and gathered all the need-to-know info for that special day. I may be able to just deliver this baby at home myself. I feel like I just got my Master's Degree in Child Delivery.

The CPR Class was a must-take. I almost died twice as a small child choking. My mother had to perform the Heimlich Maneuver twice to save my life. Luckily, she was successful and I blossomed into the magnificent specimen I am today. A specimen who never knows when to call it quits and keeps packing their mouth with chicken and not chewing until I self-suffocate. Thank the Lord for my wife to take over for mommy and remind me to chew. Everyone has flaws.

My wife and I would frequently share a nervous glance throughout the lecture/class. That day is now less than six weeks away! This will be the quickest six weeks of my entire life. It was definitely time to take these classes to prepare. I have to say, though, taking a five hour class on your Saturday afternoon just when it's starting to get to a temperature here that you can withstand longer than 10 minutes, is not a good idea. My ADD was flaring like my wife's nostrils when she has called me eight times because my food is getting cold. It's just an overload. So I strongly suggest taking the broken into two parts option. I'm just glad these classes were before football season kicks off because then my mind would definitely not have been there.

Wifey is understandably nervous terrified of the actual birth, especially after the class. They spoke about making small cuts, tearing, stretching, drawn-out pains, and all sorts of goodies. She was about to jump on my back like she saw a mouse. I am glad I am not a woman. I'll gladly take the fear of rejection of dating, financial obligation to pay during dates, and chance of prostate cancer over having my genitals torn every time I want to reproduce. The strength of a woman. I may be able to lift heavy things, but that is severely diminished by the ability to shoot a NFL regulation-sized football out of their body. My wife will never know of my intense admiration for her during the process because she doesn't read my blog. She'll let it go to her head anyway.


  1. Günümüzün en popüler bahçe çitleri arasında yer alan ve kalitesi ile her kesimden taktir toplamış ve yüksek güvenlik isteyen kişilerin en başlıca tercih ettikleri ürünümüz olan çitin maliyeti Panel Çit Fiyatları hakkında bilgi edinmek istiyorsanız lütfen sayfamıza göz atmanızı rica ediyoruz. Ayrıca sadece Türkiye'de değil Dünyanın her yerinde en çok kullanılan ürünlerin Tel örgü bahçe teli olduğunu biliyormuydunuz. Tel örgü maliyeti ve fiyatları hakkında sayfamıza göz atabilirsiniz.

  2. Bahçe teli ve Panel çit fiyatları için bu sayfaya bakmadan geçmeyiniz.
    Kaliteli görsel ile Panel çit ürünleri için ideal bir sayfa.
    Bahçe teli yapımı ve Tel örgü Fiyatları hakkında aradığınız her şey burada.
    Bahçe teli ürünleri için fiyat almak istiyorsanız Panel Çit Fiyatı - tel örgü fiyatı - çim çit fiyatı ve diğer tüm ürünlerin fiyatı bu sayfadadır.

    Panel çit Fiyat
    Tel örgü
    Panel tel çit