My wife coaxed me into attending a Breast Feeding Class at St. David's Hospital this past Friday and oh my what an experience. To me it was pretty much the equivalent of when they send juvenile delinquents to the school of hard knocks aka prison, to get a dose of what they can expect if they continue their self destructive route. Except in this case if we continue, we get a beautiful blessing that will poop, pee, cry, flop, whine, hinder me from travel, prevent me from dinner dates with mommy, cause all sorts of financial strain, and then will grow up and stress my life when they start driving, dating, and head off the college causing more worry and financial strain.
In the midst of all of this there will be a glimmer. A glimmer of why it was all worthwhile. A glimmer that displays love, warmth, inspiration, tenderness, anticipation, hope, devotion, and an undying affection. Many say that love at first sight doesn't exist, but I disagree. The moment I saw that floating bag of bones on the ultrasound screen, I instantly loved him more than any material possession or anyone I have ever met. Sorry antique blowtorch collection and sorry mom.
I have no idea where I was going with this, but the excitement is building. These classes really bring to light a wealth of information that I didn't really think about. I thought you just kind of put the breast by the baby's mouth and they eat until they're done. I really didn't know what "engorgement" was, that you need to pump breast milk all the time, or that if you get drunk you have to drain a batch so the baby doesn't get drunk through the milk. These are important things that you don't give much thought to, because when you're baby is flopping around and his eyes are bobbing around like he's on a rollercoaster you start to regret skipping the breast feeding class. You probably shouldn't be handling a baby trying to feed it when you're drunk anyways.
I bet when you came to this blog, you didn't expect to hear my adventures with an education on breast feeding. But hey, I don't really care. This is probably the only blog on the internet that mixes real estate with breast feeding, pregnancy, and getting babies drunk through your breast milk. There are lots of young parents out there going through a pregnancy and interested in Austin real estate. I'm sure one day they'll stumble across this blog and think "Oh, perfect. I can read a first-hand account of a guy going through the exact same thing AND learn about the goings in a market! Hey honey, did you know the baby can get lit from drinking your spiked breast milk?!" Still have a couple classes including Lamaze class. Stay tuned!